The funniest jokes on the net

Two nuns are riding a bike down a road and the first nun says, ''I've never come this way before!'' The second nun says, ''Oh, it must be the cobblestone!''

Why did God create economists? To make weathermen look good!

Said the Buddhist to the hot dog vendor: "Make me one with everything."

A Jewish mother bought her son two pairs of socks for his birthday and, wishing to please her, he went upstairs to put a pair on. When he returned, his mother immediately said, ''You don't like the

A concerned girl asked the priest, "Father, is it a sin to have sex before receiving communion? He replied, "Only if you block the aisle."

Pssst... Even Jesus hates Creed.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.

I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers.� Literally, here are the similitudes I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices. Heaven: St. Peter greets yo…

One Sunday, Shane walks into a church and kneels down at the altar and begins to pray to God, stating that he owes many people money and asks to win the lottery. After he is done praying, he gets up a…

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promis…

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in thei…

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about…

An old man from a far off land was once on the subway in New York and he sat down next to a younger man.  He noticed that the young man had a strange kind of shirt collar. Having never seen a priest …

One day a group of eminent scientists got together and decided that mankind had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.…

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answered the p…

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out…

What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white? A nun falling down the stairs.

Why did the 49ers hire two nuns and a prostitute? They wanted two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Neither could the blondes.

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?" "Both son. God is both." After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?" "Both son, both." …

The privacy partition in the confessional booth slides and an excited voice bursts through the screen: "Father, I gotta tell you what happened to me last night. I'm 90 years old, and I made love to…

Bush has a short one. Gorbachev has a long one. Madonna does not have one. And a priest does not use his. What is it? A last name.

Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on the eve of their wedding. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter met them. They asked if they could still be married in Heaven. "Well, let…

What's the definition of innocence? A nun working in a condom factory, thinking she's making little sleeping bags for mice.

There was this guy named John that went to heaven. He looked around and saw millions of clocks, some were slow and some were fast. He went to God to ask a question. ''What's the deal with all…

Q: Why did God create women? A: Because God took one look at men and said, ''I know I can do better than this.''

Why did God give women arms? Do you have any idea how long it would take to lick a bathroom clean?

What is the best thing God ever created? The vagina. What was the worst thing God ever did? Let women manage it!

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, ''Is this some kind of joke?''

Why did the blonde think it was Sunday? Because the sun was out!