Barroom jokes → Signs That You're A Drunk
1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
2. You have to hold on to the lawn to keep
from falling off the earth.
3. Your job starts to interfere with your
drinking.
4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your
alcohol stream.
5. The back of your head keeps getting hit by
the toilet seat.
6. You sincerely believe alcohol is the
elusive 5th food group.
7. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case
Coincidence?!?!?
8. Two hands and just one mouth now THAT’S a
drinking problem.
9. Every woman you see has an exact twin.
10. You fall off the floor
11. Hey, 5 beers have just as many calories as
a burger, screw dinner!
12. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
13. Every night you’re beginning to find your
neighbours cat more and more attractive
14. I’m not drunk you’re just sober!!
15. Roseanne looks good
16. You don’t recognise your wife unless seen
from the bottom of a glass.
17. That dammned pink elephant followed me
home again.
18. You have a reserved parking space at the
liquor store.
19. You’ve fallen and can’t get up.
20. The shrubbery’s drunk too, from frequent
watering.
