The funniest jokes on the net

Ghandi used to walk everywhere bare-foot, so his feet became painfully rough. He also had a very simple diet, which left him thin and frail, and with bad breath. All of which made him a super-callouse

Yo mama so dumb she dj's for the ice cream truck

Q. How many lawyer jokes are there? A. Three...the rest are all true.

What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather? Drizzle!

Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg? A: That one in the middle thinks he's hard

Knock, knock Who's there? Some Some who? Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes.

You are a redneck, if you read every joke in this database and don't get a single punch-line.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Hark! I shall soon be swimming in a veritable river of pachyderm seed!

"Mommy, the kids all say we're aliens from outer space. That's not true, is it?" "Vegl dibrogmrn di shtrtl mixtor!"

Q: How does a redneck take a bubblebath? A: He farts in a puddle.

Why are blonde jokes so short? So the guys telling 'em can understand 'em!

Q: What did the apple say to the orange? A: I despise you for being different from me.

Did you ever hear bout the crazy old man from Georgia? They found him smothered in thick coating of peach marmalade, peanut butter, and his own feces.

Why did the Jolly Green Giant get kicked out of the garden? Statuatory rape of a gourd.

Johnny comes back from school crying and says, "Mommy all the kids in the school say I have a big head." His mother replies, "No you don't Johnny. You have a hideously deformed head. The other chil…

A true friend stabs you in the front.

Why do they call a horse a horse. Because they speak English, you moron.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he freakin' felt like it!

Yo mamma's so retarded, she thinks "yo mama" jokes are funny.

A polish guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, can you give me a lobotomy?" The doctor says, "Why on earth would you want a lobotomy?" The polack responds, "Why, so I can write 'dumb polack' jok

Knock knock Who's there? Arthur Arthur who? Arthur any better jokes on this site?

Why did the professional baseball player cross the road? Because his gigantic ass commanded him to.

A husband comes home early from work and catches his wife in bed with the mailman. Before they detect him, he sneaks back into the hall, finds the mail bag, steams open the letters, inserts coupons f…

What do you get when you cross Mariah Carey and Elton John? Nothing. Elton John prefers men.

What did the cat say to the mouse? "The human telling this joke is attempting to anthropomorphise us!"

A bar walks into a guy. The bar orders a liver, a heart and a kidney. He asks that the lungs be thrown in as well. The man meets his heavenly reward. Such is the fate of humorous bar flies.

A 12 inch pianist walks into a bar, looks at the piano in the corner and says, "Why, this model of upright piano makes me think of my first sexual interlude with the maestro Liberace!"

You might be a redneck if... Northern city-dwellers mock your isolated rural heritage, and utilize stereotypes referencing your supposed appetite for fornication with family relations, and your almost

Yo mama's so beautiful, chaste, and pure, I long to bask in the warm glow that surrounds her.

"Mommy, mommy! What a pretty dress!" "Shut-up. It won't fit over your iron lung." "Mommy, mommy! The room is spinning!" "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor.